Saturday, May 27, 2006
Today opened my eyes to what a shit I've been.
In the morning was the usual torment over the phone. Bahh, whatever; it's back up at least. Then I was really down and shit in school. Messaged them to say sorry; think it was fine after that.
Then the wake. I realised how I've left God at the back of my mind; how I've been an ungrateful mortal too arrogant to think of Him and what He's done for me to get me where I am. And to think that to remember Allah, I had to be tested for the strength of my faith. I am disgusting.
And so I prayed, real hard, to keep out what I didn't want to hear- somehow today, I felt God was listening. Like He was giving me a second shot to call out. Sorry, Allah, for having been so ignorant, how could I ever just forget and choose to remember only when I need You; all this when all along, You never forgot about me. Please God, I surrender unto You and the plans You have for me. Please God, bring me closer to You and on the path to You. This world is just a stopover, till You decide the time is right for me to return to You. I love You, Allah; like how You've loved me all sixteen years of my being here. Thank You for all that You've given; please take me closer to You, engulf me in the warmth of Your light and show me the path straight back to You.
Amin.
I flew @ 5:25 AM
Today opened my eyes to what a shit I've been.
In the morning was the usual torment over the phone. Bahh, whatever; it's back up at least. Then I was really down and shit in school. Messaged them to say sorry; think it was fine after that.
Then the wake. I realised how I've left God at the back of my mind; how I've been an ungrateful mortal too arrogant to think of Him and what He's done for me to get me where I am. And to think that to remember Allah, I had to be tested for the strength of my faith. I am disgusting.
And so I prayed, real hard, to keep out what I didn't want to hear- somehow today, I felt God was listening. Like He was giving me a second shot to call out. Sorry, Allah, for having been so ignorant, how could I ever just forget and choose to remember only when I need You; all this when all along, You never forgot about me. Please God, I surrender unto You and the plans You have for me. Please God, bring me closer to You and on the path to You. This world is just a stopover, till You decide the time is right for me to return to You. I love You, Allah; like how You've loved me all sixteen years of my being here. Thank You for all that You've given; please take me closer to You, engulf me in the warmth of Your light and show me the path straight back to You.
Amin.
I flew @ 5:25 AM
