Tuesday, October 26, 2004
I flew @ 6:05 AM
In the cold of the day
Watched the rain fall down upon my face
Each drop a flicker of hope
A chance of rejuvenation.
Stared up at heavens above
Calm blue
Beckoned me over
But
I knew I could not
I knew it was not for real
In the cold of the day
They come gushing back
Sucking me in
Deeper and deeper
Spinning
Sinking
I struggle.
Struggle to break free.
Free from it all.
I question-
I ponder –
I think –
Yet I see no end.
I see no answers.
No retribution.
In the cold of the day
I stood outside
Waiting outside the window
I see your pain beneath the smiles
Watched the rain fall down upon my face
Each drop a flicker of hope
A chance of rejuvenation.
Stared up at heavens above
Calm blue
Beckoned me over
But
I knew I could not
I knew it was not for real
In the cold of the day
They come gushing back
Sucking me in
Deeper and deeper
Spinning
Sinking
I struggle.
Struggle to break free.
Free from it all.
I question-
I ponder –
I think –
Yet I see no end.
I see no answers.
No retribution.
In the cold of the day
I stood outside
Waiting outside the window
I see your pain beneath the smiles
I hear your silent cries behind the laughter
I see your unshed tears under the gleam in your eyes
I see your unshed tears under the gleam in your eyes
It hurts me too.
Arms outstretched
Open heart
Open mind
Ready to accept
Embrace
Catch you if you fall
Yet you shun
Yet you run
Far far
Away
In the cold of the day
I stand
Watch the rain fall down on my head
Distant hurried footsteps
Pierce my ears
Stab. Stab. Stab.
Watch you walk away
Out -
Far out from my life.
In the cold of the day
They come gushing back
Sucking me in
Deeper and deeper
Spinning
Sinking
I tried. Did all I could.
I raced against time
Against heart, against mind
But I lost.
In the cold of the day
Cheeks scarred
I surrender.
I have fought the good fight
And I have lost
Open heart
Open mind
Ready to accept
Embrace
Catch you if you fall
Yet you shun
Yet you run
Far far
Away
In the cold of the day
I stand
Watch the rain fall down on my head
Distant hurried footsteps
Pierce my ears
Stab. Stab. Stab.
Watch you walk away
Out -
Far out from my life.
In the cold of the day
They come gushing back
Sucking me in
Deeper and deeper
Spinning
Sinking
I tried. Did all I could.
I raced against time
Against heart, against mind
But I lost.
In the cold of the day
Cheeks scarred
I surrender.
I have fought the good fight
And I have lost
***
Sometimes it doesn't pay to be really nice. You try and you try and you try. You love with all your heart. You care. You're there- always. You do everything you can. You pretend to laugh, to smile even if it hurts really bad. You hide, conceal- because you don't want to hurt. You accept being pushed, shoved, ignored. You withstand being dropped time and time again. You know it's not fair, you know it hurts but you just keep taking it in because you love, because you care. You control, restrain, hold back because you don't want to hurt. Yet you bounce back when you're needed- just like that. You're there in times of need even if never included in times of joy.
You accept and tolerate. You accept, you understand, you accomodate.
You accept and tolerate. You accept, you understand, you accomodate.
You accept and tolerate. You accept, you understand, you accomodate.
Then one day it turns around and slaps you in the face.
Heal.
And take comfort in knowing you once cared, loved and was loved.
Take comfort in knowing you tried.
Heal.
And take comfort in knowing you once cared, loved and was loved.
Take comfort in knowing you tried.
I flew @ 6:05 AM
